Kittens and Generals and Kings Oh My!
by WillowDryad
Summary: It's always something.


**Disclaimer: Edmund and Peter Pevensie and all the characters and situations in the Chronicles of Narnia belong to C. S. Lewis and not to me. Oreius belongs to Walden Media or something. :::shrugs:::**

KITTENS AND GENERALS AND KINGS . . . OH MY!

Edmund flinched, gritting his teeth as, once again, the razor-sharp needles pierced his flesh. Fighting to keep his expression impassive, he clung to the edge of the table and focused his attention on what was being said.

" . . . your castle's defenses and where it is most vulnerable to attack."

The pain came again, unexpected in its rapidity, and he couldn't hold back a little gasp. The table jerked, there was a taut silence. Then came another demand.

"King Edmund, did you hear my question? Tell me where Cair Paravel is most vulnerable to attack when under siege?"

Edmund blinked, looking at the diagram of the castle spread before him and pointed. "Uh, there and there?"

"The library and the laundry?" Oreius gave him a withering glare. "And that, truly, is what you have gotten out of today's lesson?"

"N-no, Oreius."

"Are you okay, Ed?" Peter asked half under his breath as the Centaur sighed and began moving all the intricately carved markers back to their original positions so he could start the battle-planning lesson over.

Edmund flinched again and darted a glance toward the floor. Peter looked down and then the tiniest hint of a grin touched his lips. A golden kitten with big blue eyes sat at his feet, smiling up at him. Next to him, a black and white kitten clung to Edmund's leg with his little needle teeth sunk into Edmund's calf.

"What are you two doing here, Petie?" Peter whispered.

"We're 'sploring," the golden kitten whispered back. "Very secret."

Certain Oreius's back was turned, Edmund reached down and swiftly dislodged the other kitten from his leg. "How does exploring involve biting me, Eddie?"

The little tuxedo cat grinned. "You weren't listening, and we need you to help us 'splore."

"We're busy," Edmund whispered, setting him on the floor again. "You go play now before we all get into trouble."

Both kittens looked up at him with big eyes, their mouths turned down in disappointment, but he merely kept his expression stern.

"Go on now. Scat."

"Now, King Edmund," Oreius said turning to the map again, and both boys immediately stood straight. "We will start again. The attacking force has units here, here and here." He set markers to the north, west and south. "Their ships are here." He set another marker to the east. "Their siege engines are here and here." He placed two more markers nearer to the castle. "Where is the Cair most vulnerable? Where would you concentrate your defense?"

He handed Edmund two markers with the rampant lion on them. Edmund studied the diagram, setting one of them down, his finger on it as he considered, and then he began sliding it into place.

"I'd put my soldiers right theeeeeeeere."

His hand jerked and the marker skittered away from him.

"I see." Oreius's face was flint. "In the event of siege, you would put your soldiers in the middle of the Great River."

His face flaming hot, Edmund glared down at Eddie who had once again fastened himself to Edmund's leg.

"Sorry, Oreius. I just had a cramp."

Peter made a little gurgling sound that he quickly turned into a cough.

"Very well, King Edmund," the Centaur said. "I think it best that we discuss strategy at another time. High King, perhaps you would like to give your report on the outposts along our northern borders."

Peter swallowed hard and began hunting through a stack of papers on the corner of the table. "Yes, Oreius. Of course. I have it right here."

Edmund held on to the edge of the table once more, trying his best to shake off the kitten without being obvious, but the needle teeth remained firmly attached to his flesh. Finally he looked down and then choked back a laugh of his own.

"Uh, Peter . . . "

"Hang on. I'm trying to find my report." Peter looked apologetically at Oreius. "I had it right here on top. Give me just a minute."

"Peter."

"Hang on, Ed. I know it's here."

"Peter."

Edmund waited until he had his brother's attention, and then he looked at the floor. Peter looked, too, and then his eyes widened. Petie was still sitting there at his feet smiling, but now he was surrounded by a snowfall of finely shredded paper.

Peter choked back an almost inaudible whimper and then looked desperately at the general. "I, uh, I don't seem to be able to find it just now, Oreius. I, um, I still have my notes in my study. I can rewrite it and give it to you this afternoon."

There was not a flicker of emotion in the Centaur's face as he looked at the two Kings. Edmund was certain Oreius knew just how unnerving it was to stand there under those stern eyes, trying not to squirm, waiting for him to say something, anything.

He glanced at Peter and then back at the general. "Oreius?"

The Centaur lifted one eyebrow. "My King?"

"Are we through for now-ow-ow-ow?"

Edmund clung to the table, feeling the piercing little teeth again, and leaned to one side to remove Eddie once and for all. Peter took a casual step closer to him, trying to block Oreius's view without seeming to do so, but the general merely pursed his lips.

"Not yet, King Edmund. But I do have a new assignment for you both. I want you to go to the meadow on the north side of the Cair and give me a complete report on the availability of water and sustenance as well as its strategic and educational potential."

Peter blinked. "You do?"

"He wants us to go fishing," Petie whispered with a little giggle.

The Centaur crossed his arms over his broad chest. "I expect this exercise to take at least until teatime, and I do not expect to see either of you here again until it is completed."

Peter looked at Edmund and Edmund looked at Oreius, careful to keep the kitten he was holding by the scruff of the neck out of the general's sight.

"You want us to–"

"Go 'sploring." Oreius put both hands on the table, leaning towards them. "And take the little pests with you."

Peter grinned, scooping Petie off the floor. "Come on, Ed."

Edmund stood straight again with Eddie cradled in one arm. "We're coming."

"Are we really going 'sploring now, King Edmund?" the kitten asked, eyes bright and eager.

Edmund dislodged Eddie's teeth from his sleeve. "Yes, we are. But that doesn't mean you're supposed to bite me, all right?"

"All right, King Edmund."

"All right. Good." Edmund hurried out of the open door and into the corridor. "Hey, Peter! Wait up! We're – OW!"

And, from behind him, came a Centaur's hearty laughter.

 **Author's Note: This story was totally requested and even thought up by Lady Alambiel in honor of International Cat Day, August 8th. So if you have cats, hug them and tell them how miserable your life would be without them. And if you don't . . . why the heck not?**

 **If you want to know more about Petie and Eddie and their sisters, check out my story "The Pouncepaws." Yes, yes, Lulu is coming. As soon as I think of a good idea.**


End file.
